Live Your Best Life

Quotes Worth Repeating - Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy

"Superior achievement or making the most of one's capabilities, is to a very considerable degree a matter of habit. This was the reason why Joe used to say to the children, 'We don't want any losers around here. In this family we want winners.' They were encouraged to be winners, leaders and victors in whatever they set their minds to...to develop the habit."  - Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy

Climbing My Moutain

Living Large and goals are the subject of my first post as a contributor to the JJL. After taking part in the Love Affair with Books a number of us were asked to become contributors to the already rich network of bloggers.

Six of us to be exact:

• Dwayne Melancon at Genuine Curiosity
• David Zinger at Ikaika on Employee Engagement
  
• Karen Wallace at The Clearing Space
  
• Benjamin Bach at Benjamin Bach & Associates
  
• Tim Draayer at Live Your Best Life
  
• Dean Boyer at Teaching with Aloha

It amazes me how the timing of questions we are asked or thoughts that provoke us. As you'll see in my article this point in time has been a reflective time for me and with these things in mind I shared some of the goals I've created for myself.

We all feel like we are striving to reach a destination, the summit of the moutain if you will, and I've come to realize that there are two different ways to go about it.

You can either allow mole hills to become mountains of their own making, causing life to shift and push you where it will OR you can create your own mountains and joyfully take each step in the knowledge that you know where you are headed. Knowing you placed each hill and plateau yourself.

Can You Survive the Projections?

People are complicated.

A couple weeks ago I was spending some time with a friend and towards the end of our day together we stopped at his parents place. We all got to talking and the subject of my trip to Vegas came up over the course of the conversation.

Now, I love these people but like most individuals they have adopted the belief that all Network Marketing businesses are just scams. My friends father made the first comment, asking "Is your business one of those things promising $25,000 in a week?" as if they are positive that I've fallen victim to a scam and that my money is being bleed from me on a daily basis.

They got their chuckle out of it but I was left sitting there feeling the weight of their words on my shoulders. This is often the most difficult obstacle for anyone to overcome when starting a business. It's so easy to listen to what people say and let their misguided thoughts affect our lives.

The Projection Problem

At the heart of the situation I described above or in any situation you may face are the inner feelings of the person speaking the words. Maybe they believe they are telling you how it is and by all rights they are doing you a favor but in reality they aren't. It's difficult to face a challenge but for some people its even harder to believe. Especially believing in themselves.

When someone talks down about a project you've just laid out before them, they are not by any means trying to tell you that you can't or shouldn't do it. They are telling themselves something like "Wow, I could never do that," and it comes out as a negative because they are focused on either own fears and doubts.

Nobody really wants to sabotage you're dreams and passion and if they do you ought to be running in the opposite direction as fast as you can!

The key to these moments is learning to lead with your own heart, not with the fear and doubts of another's.

[Tim Draayer wants you to realize the dreams that lay in wait in your heart.]

Food for Quought

I've just read about the Quought Phil was asked to contribute to Rajesh Setty's Quought of the Day and its a great one. Here is the question:

What do I want to be known for in 2007, and what am I going to do to make it a reality?

Got you thinking didn't it? I know that it certainly got me thinking.

You can find more Quoughts at Life Beyond Code. There are many terrific questions that have been contributed.

PS: I was going to add an answer to the above question but as I began to type my thoughts I realized that I didn't have an answer, just yet. Count on another post when I've discovered it.

PSS: Never be afraid to admit that a question has challenged you, causing you to dig deeper. If it hasn't done so, it wasn't a very good question.


[Tim Draayer is a deep thinker who has come to appreciate the value of asking questions as means to understanding himself. Always looking for questions that will challenge him to move forward.]

Tags: phil gerbyshak, rajesh setty, quought of the day

Firm Foundation OR Rome Wasn't Built In a Day

"A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him." -David Brinkley

Who talk?

In Janruary of this year (2006), Shel Isreal and Robert Scoble put there heads together and wrote a book called Naked Conversations. The book tackles a subject that is still widely debated almost a year later, and probably will be for awhile to come. Business Blogging. The title fits perfectly because blogs are out there on the internet for anyone and everyone to see, evidenced by the fact that you are reading this article.

The authors, bloggers as a whole, are sharing of themselves or giving you insights into their business as well as allowing you to see a side of them you might not normally see. The conversations we, as authors and readers, have are not unlike the conversations we have with ourselves.

Think about it.

Do you talk to yourself? Sure you do. You are consciously and unconsciously sending yourself messages, 100s of messages a day. Don't believe me? What about the time you made a mistake at the office and after your boss spoke to you and say to yourself "Well, that was stupid. How could I be so dumb?"

The way that we talk to ourselves is naked, just as blogging is suggested to be by the book, only the audience is different. Its an audience of one and you need only to pay attention to what you are saying to yourself. Doing this doesn't require a great deal of work it means you are more aware of the thoughts that pass through your mind and by paying attention you'll catch the lies that you tell yourself.

• "Well, that was stupid of me. How could I be so dumb?" That isn't true! I'm not dumb but I did make a mistake and can be aware of it next time.
• "I'll never succeed. I don't have any skills." Wait a minute, that isn't true either, I'm a talented writer and networker. I DO have skills.

See what I mean? By paying attention to the things you tell yourself and countering them with what you know to be true you can begin to foster those feelings and acknowledge them as truth. In time you will feel better about yourself and you won't talk down to yourself nearly so much as you once did.

We are all special. Acknowledge it and tell yourself no different. Trust me, you'll feel much better and you are so worth the effort.

Wesly Dobbs Takes the Stage OR The Sleeper Defined

Unless you are a comic book fan or perhaps even a fanatic you probably don't recognize the name Wesly Dobbs. If you are a comic book fan you might recognize Wesly Dobbs as the 'original Sandman' created in 1939. The Sandman has been a prominent figure in comics, books, and even music for many many years. All of them make reference to a person being influenced by or put into a dream like state when they are in contact with this figure--this Sandman.

All of the accounts, while varied have one quality that holds true in each: Sleep.

What does it mean to sleep?
We all sleep. In fact we all NEED sleep but I'm referring to a different brand of being asleep. The Sleeper I'm referring to is someone who drifts through the days of their life in an almost comatose state. The person who is asleep in this respect doesn't experience life. They believe that life is random and when the things they want from life aren't given to them, they are crushed. As a result they are often distanced from the world and in general they aren't very happy.

How to identify the Sleeper
The best way to find the symptoms of the Sleeper is to ask a series of questions. There are many questions that can bring the Sleeper out into the open, more than I can share in one sitting so here are some questions to begin.

Do they lack enthusiasm and/or passion? Passion and enthusiasm are often the product of experiences that we enjoy or knowing enough about ourselves to know what makes us passionate.

Are they an energy drain? Negative people draw the life out of other people rather than living life.

Do they have planned goals and dreams that they aim for? Are they actively doing what it takes to realize them? To participate in life one has to be aware of what they want and go after those things.

Has the person in question developed an introspective way of viewing themselves and their world view? Knowing your heart and listening to its voice is paramount to anyones efforts in realizing their potential.

Are they adverse to change? Change is a rocky road and avoiding it can cause anyone to become complacent.

How about confidence? Do they believe in themselves or do they have low self esteem? Low cofidence can often cause people to withdraw.

Answering yes to one or some of these questions doesn't mean you have a Sleeper on your hands but if you are answering in the affirmative to most of them chances are you do.

If you do, however, the best remedy is lots of love, support and guidance when asked for it. Most of all support them.

I believe

I don't normally write on Sunday. However, today I'm making an exception because of something I just read on the Career Intensity blog. Today David Lorenzo writes about how well intended family and friends can discourage you from your dreams. He quotes Matthew 17:20:

“I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

Sometimes it is so easy to get caught up in what we want and needing the approval of the people around us that we forget we have someone always cheering for us. Always there to support and help us along the road to fulfilling our dreams.

I agree with David. Trust in God, have faith and everything shall fall into place.

Have you set goals that are relevant to what YOU want?

On the 5th of this month I posted an article here about taking inventory of your wants and needs.

Today I want to expand on these thoughts and define a way that you can take the answers to the questions that I pointed to in that article, and flesh them out. Making them into clearly defined goals that you can see and act on them. Having those goals written out before you is great because it is a reminder, and the act of writing them down is huge because it makes them concrete, not only in a physical sense but also because you see yourself taking the first steps toward those goals. Defining them is always to be the first step because poorly designed goals (goals that you don't truly desire or feel passion to complete) will go the same route as no goals.

So have at it and follow the thoughts below if they resonate with you but first I recommend reading (or re-reading if you have already read it) the article on taking inventory.

Refined Goal Setting

One of the the first things to do is to grab another clean sheet of paper and re-write those ideas that you have now developed into goals. Write them down, but write them in the form of a goal that has already been achieved and then display them (on your computer desk or fridge).

An example might be that you work in a factory and you don't enjoy the work at all. There is no satisfaction, and you just seem to ho-hum your way through the day until you can go home. Based on the last question and some thought you decide that its time to find a different job, one that suits you. Next, you define the set of goals that it will take to discover and then get the job that will add value to your life. With those goals in mind, the last step is to add that goal to your list of goals, and state it as if it has already happened. For the sake of the example, imagine that you have pinpointed graphic design to be your calling. Your re-written statement might look something like this: I love my new graphic design job and I'm so much happier. I am thankful to work for a great web design firm and to be able to put my creative senses to work.

Why future tense?

Goals are dreams and plans that we want to set into action. Our dreams our naturally out of proportion to who and what we see ourselves being at the current time. This is why writing your goals as if they have already happened is so important. What you are doing is telling your mind that you believe that it can happen and each day as you read those goals you are affirming it by saying "I have become.." instead of "I will become.." The second example keeps the goal out of reach as if you're dangling a carrot before your eyes in the hopes of one day reaching it because you are taking the steps. But my opinion is that by doing that you forever keep that goal out of reach. If you treat yourself as if you are what you want to become or have the things you want to obtain you will see yourself as a person deserving of those things and they will be a part of your life.

The truth is that everybody and their mother has an opinion on how to set goals and make them happen just as I have my own opinion. I believe that the only way to achieve your goals is to frame them properly because the changes often have to come from within in order for you to achieve them. This means you must believe that you can obtain those goals.

Know that you can do these things.

Have fun with it.

Love life and it will love you.

-Tim

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Why some people value history more than others

History was one of my best subjects in school. I enjoyed every minute of it and I recall one teacher specifically, who I enjoyed listening to, Mr. Rambo. He loved his job and was very passionate about history and by his actions and words, this was very clear. I remember asking him one day after class why we study history, because even though I enjoyed it I wanted his perspective on its meaning in our lives, and what he told me is that we study history to avoid the negatives of the past. The discussion that day was brief and I accepted his answer but I find myself thinking about that conversation again today, many years later.

Mr. Rambo's perspective still rings true and I will not be arguing that today, but what I will be doing is offering another option. History is a collection of persons, places, things and events that have all happened in the past. They are written into encyclopedias, textbooks, biographies and autobiographies with the intent of providing a view into the life of the person or the cause and effect of an event.

I feel that we should also study history so that these things will repeat themselves. For example, anyone that takes the time to read even the smallest amounts of information detailing the lives of people such as Henry Ford will find individuals that set themselves apart from the rest of the crowd. Henry Ford gathered people that had skills that he did not have and leveraged them, creating an automobile success story. There are lessons learned from people like Ford, who discovered the means to live the life they wanted and attain the goals they set for themselves. I feel that history provides a much greater depth of knowledge from this perspective because by studying the person or event you take in the ideas that drove them.

Living life and learning from it is about far more than having knowledge in math, biology, or physics. These are subjects are applied to the things in our lives such as our jobs, but where do we learn to actually live. As the curriculum requires, the skills needed to find a good job, do a good with that job, but we are never taught about cultivating self worth, dreams, the drive to succeed, and to love their own unique way of living. That is where I believe history serves us most and that is why I recommend reading and studying them. Finding other people's hopes, dreams, and driven nature can open our eyes to the world that is our own, giving rise to our own desires, dreams and successes.

It's best described by saying that if you wish to improve your quality of life you only need to study the lives of the people that lived the sort of life you want. Seek knowledge and learn about the extraordinary people of the past. Dig into their lives and then dig deeper to find the ideas and belief systems that drove them to do the things that they did. By studying those things, and then applying them in a way that suits your life, you can learn varied reasons and ways of living life that will bring you the happiness and success that you desire.

Learn from them and live.

 

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