SOBCon07: 6 Tips for the Introverted Entrepreneur Plus One

Its already been a week since the conference began and I'm just now finding time to write the words that have finally come to me.

In fact, it up until a few days ago I didn't have the words to express what happened there.

I was emailing Terry Starbucker. Oddly, I started that email much the same as I have started this article--by affirming the fact that I just didn't know what to say.

I didn't know what to say about the conference because there were so many good things to be said. As I started into that email I shared a story with Terry and some realizations (epiphanies, if you will).

Introvertion Inside

I relayed my view of Friday night, everyone gathered together chatting and meeting each other for the first time. More to the point, my story focused on the game we participated in at the end of the night. Taking the comments out of the comment box, a play on the Tuesday night fun at Liz's blog.

When he handed me the mic I was at ease although I started out shaky
but the more I talked the better I felt, and I realized something about myself. I wasn't hiding. I put myself out there, speaking live in front of the 100+ people there and told them my story.

I have changed in ways that I hadn't even measured or counted on.

I've always had allot of introversion in me. So with that and life being piled on top of it, I equated to a very nervous and quiet person. So much so that I would run away from uncomfortable situations or confrontations. I always ran.

6 Tips for the Introverted Entrepreneur Plus One

I don't run anymore. I face things head on and for an Introvert thats a difficult task. Especially social settings. Extroverts are energized by social interaction, lively banter and excitement thrills them but for an Introvert its the opposite. Introverts are internal creatures. Thoughts, emotions and quality are their domain and social situations drain their batteries.

The more I seek my own personal growth, the more I discover that my severe introversion and isolation from the world fades. However, there is still a process of growth involved in coming out of the shell that we often times create.

What I'd like to do next is share some of the 'techniques' I've employed to make the transition easier for me.

• First of all, let go!! Recognize that it's OK. You're not doing anything wrong and there is most certainly NOTHING wrong with you.
• Give it time. Life is a process and finding your way in a world that seems to be created for Extroverts by Extroverts is hard. Take the time that you need to find your own way and you will get there. Just remember not to force it because you can't go forcing something if its just not right.
• Take a break. Your batteries get drained easily and pretty soon that voice inside is going to be telling you, sometimes even screaming at you. A good indication of this is when you feel like running or going home. Instead of running away, retreat to a quiet spot and give yourself a few minutes. Close your eyes and find your center again. Take some deep breaths and when you feel better go back to the evenings festivities.
• Be creative. Think outside the box. This one is one of my favorites because it resembles my internet marketing methods. As an Introvert you have a difficult time approaching people and striking up conversations with them. So come up with ways to bring them to you. Last weekend at the conference my camera, an impressive looking FujiFilm FinePix S9000 went everywhere with me. At first it was because I was snapping pictures left and right but I also realized that the camera was drawing attention to me. People would approach me and ask me about the camera, taking the pressure off of me. Networking is important to everyone's career, including your own. Don't run from it. We love you.
• Get out of your comfort zone. Wendy Piersall spoke about this at the conference and I couldn't agree more. The past year has proven to me that if you aren't pushing against your self imposed limits--you'll never grow.
• Avert your eyes--for a second. Extroverts maintain eye contact. When they are speaking you know they are speaking to you because they are focusing their eyes and their rhythm on you. As an introvert, maintaining eye contact can be an intense proposition. When you're in a conversation with someone don't be afraid to glance at other things, look around the room. and then bring your focus back to them. This lessons the tense feeling and as long as you are maintaining eye contact with them most of the time, they aren't offended by your wandering eye. Unless its your girlfriend, in which case ... I can't help you.

Plus One: I have to confess. This one is actually for Extroverts. Introverts are of a different breed and often your high levels of energy can cause them to pull back and slip in to a reserved mode. Step down a notch and embrace them.

If you've met someone who is especially quiet and awkward, give them your time and understanding. Discover their passions and engage them. Once they feel welcome AND talk about the things they are passionate about you won't be able to keep them from talking.

Again, my main point is to reach out and let you all know that its ok. You are who you are, and I am who I am. We are all different and sometimes someone has to bridge the gap and I hope to have started that process.

Comments

[Liz Strauss]

Beautifully said, Tim, all of the way through. Finding space and time to breathe and to recharge my battery can calm me and go a long way to keep me a part of things.

Thanks for this.
Liz

[Terry Starbucker]

Tim, this is such great advice - as a former introvert myself, things like patience, letting go, and trying things outside the comfort zone are techniques that I can personally endorse as well. Liz is right - this was beautifully done, and I'm so glad you joined us in Chicago. Can't wait to see your pictures!

Keep living your best life Tim!

[Deb]

I found you through Christine Kane's link. As an often paralyzed introvert I love to hear other introverts' success stories, especially when they share how I can have the success I am looking for too. I also linked to this on my post because I felt your perspective would add meaning as someone who is actually walking the talk. Thanks.

[Tim Draayer]

Liz and Terry - Thank you to you both for all of your encouragement and kind words. It was a pleasure to have met both of you and look forward to getting to know you better in the future. I'll definitely be at SOBCon08!

Deb - I know where you are coming from. For the longest time I was paralyzed by everything but I came to a point of realizing that I wanted more for myself. I also knew that I was meant to do more than work in retail.

I've got a huge heart and I enjoy sharing it when it helps others to grow as I have. Thank you for sharing, continuing the conversation and I hope to see you here again soon.

Take care, Deb, and remember to just let go and be yourself. Let the cards fall where they will.